Friday, February 4, 2011

I Need Out!

I need out of this house!  I love my children and my hearts desire has always been to be a stay at home mom.  However, finances don't allow me to stay home all the time and even when they did, I just never could actually stay home all of the time.  I can handle being with my kids 24/7 but I need to at least go to the grocery store, church, the gas station, SOMEWHERE!  The plan was to go out to Eric's volleyball game tonight and then spend the night at his parents house because they live at he bottom of a huge hill that never gets plowed and Eric is dying to go sledding and Connor is dying to see Nana and both of his Papas.'s snowing again so we'll see if that actually happens.

Part of the reason I want out of the house is just because I'm bored and bored equals snacking.  I have to make such a conscious effort not to just snack, snack, snack all day long.  I never realize it until I'm "dieting" (which I'm not calling this a "diet" but I can't think of a better word) but almost every time I go into our kitchen I eat something.  Maybe just a cracker, or a chip, or a bite of whatever I have baked that week but probably 85% of the time I eat something.  And it's such a habit now that I have to really, really make myself not grab for something when I go in there.  And I also have to make sure all food is put away and out of sight all the time.  At lunch I had a handful of dried pineapple (that's not all I had) but I left the bag sitting on the counter and the next thing I know, I'm standing in the living room eating them out of the bag...seriously?!  I know it's dried pineapple but they have a lot of added sugar and it's just the concept that I have NO self control.  Well that's not true, I do have some self control but I have a lot of bad habits to break.  On that note, my children just broke into the bucket of more habit to break.  And don't even get me started on my husband with whom I had this conversation yesterday.  Me: "What did you have for lunch today?"  Eric: "We ate in the cafeteria".  Me:  "What did you have for lunch today?"  Eric:  "soup"  Me: "What else did you have for lunch today?"  Eric: "A cheeseburger" Me: "And..."   Eric:  "and french fries" pause "and a hot dog".  Me:  "That's what I thought".  And I'm not bashing my husband, I love him but he has some work to do too.  And I also told him that I was going to post this conversation.

I have been proud of myself on the exercise though.  Yesterday I broke out the Tae Bo video that's been collecting dust on the shelf for years.  I honestly don't think I had ever even done the whole video in all the years that I've had it.  But I did yesterday!  And I thought I might die :)  But the point is I did it.  And today I was going to do it again but I decided to do the Biggest Loser: Last Chance Work Out...ugh.  My BFF and I have always said we want to go on the Biggest Loser.  Why oh why would we want to do that?  I seriously thought I might die in my living room.  I can't even imagine being on the show with Jillian screaming down my neck.  And the video is set-up in intervals so today I only did half of what I will eventually build up to.  However, I know I got a workout.  And I didn't die.  I guess those are the only 2 things that really matter :)

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