Wednesday, February 16, 2011

So Frustrated

I have a feeling that this may be a rambling post so my apologies in advance.  At 5:15 this morning when I was holding a screaming one year old for the 3rd morning in a row, I had a direction for this post but 3 hours later my list of frustrations have grown so I don't even know where to go with this. 

First of all, my exercise "plan" is  causing me more stress than I ever thought possible.  That's because it's impossible to "plan" with a one year old and a ten week old puppy in the house.  I intend to get up everyday at 5:00 and workout.  I have been very faithful at getting up.  However, so have Aiden and Molly (normally neither of them wake up until at least 7:00).  Monday I got through my warm-up and half of my work out before Aiden woke up.  Yesterday I got through my warm-up, and 2 minutes of my work-out before Aiden woke up.  Today, my alarm went off and Aiden woke up at the EXACT same time.  I'm a very light sleeper.  My alarm is on the quietest possible setting and I am very quiet when I get up so my frustration with this one year old is building quite rapidly.  Today I did manage to get him back to sleep.  Then just as I started my warm-up, Molly (the yappiest dog on earth) woke up. I put Molly outside and continued my exercising.  Molly stood on the step and yelped nonstop for 5 minutes while I contimplated just sitting down and crying or going outside and causing harm to that little dog.  Then just as I finished the warm up, as though he knew Mommy was actually making progress, Aiden started to scream again.  So I got him out of bed, sat down and had that cry that I was contimplating just a few minutes earlier.  I love my children-LOVE them but all I am asking for is 45 minutes by myself every morning.  I feel no real need to get up at 5:00 just to keep Aiden company.  Maybe it's the over acheiver in me but I just feel like such a failure right now.  Three days this week of sincerely trying and not even one decent work out.  I can't work out during the day when I'm at work.  It would be next to impossible at night when I have a million things to do.  That's why I really am trying to do it in the morning.  I've been through all of this before and I know myself and I know that if I don't get it out of the way first thing I will have a hundred different excuses (legitimate or not) that come up throughout the rest of  the day.  So tomorrow I'm going to try my hardest to get out of the house and walk/jog.  This is an issue for me just because I'm a woman and I'll be alone and honestly it just makes me nervous.  However, we live in a nice neighborhood that I know is safe, it's just a natural fear that I have that I just need to overcome.  The weather has been beautiful and I've always wanted to start running so tomorrow I'll start.  Well I probably won't start running tomorrow but I'll at least start getting out there tomorrow.  That way if Aiden decides to make his appearance at 5:00 his daddy can deal with him :)

Ok, now that that's off my chest I feel a little better.  I have a lot of frustration coming from a lot of different places right now but 1 I don't know how to channel that right now and 2 some things don't need to be aired in a blog.  So for now I guess I'll leave it with my exercising frustration.  I'll update on the running/jogging tomorrow.  Sorry, I'll try to be more faithful with updating this!

1 comment:

  1. Well you are better than me, because if I had to chose between getting up at 5 to work out or being chubby...I would choose the chubby, not going to lie about that. So way to go!